This is the first time I am writing a travelogue. The more I write the more I find linearity to be inadequate. There are so many conversations that start on one day and continue over the next few days. Capturing them on a daily basis makes it seem like a stop- sputter-stop affair when in reality it's just one long conversation. The lack of the dramatic also results in many conversations not being included at all. That would be sad since the road trip was as much about exploring places as it was about conversing and exchanging viewpoints on different subjects.
Your Vote Matters
At the onset of the trip I am very kicked that we will be travelling through the heart of India three weeks before the general elections. Turns out Nari feels the same way. It has been one of my dreams to visit the Hindi heartland during an election. But as we roll through UP, Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan, Maharashtra, Telangana and Andhra we draw a complete blank. Nowhere to be seen are the ugly billboards choc-a-bloc with politicians – the size of the image being a pointer to the pecking order – or buntings or rallies. This perplexes me and I raise the issue. Nari is intrigued too. Shobha insists that this is because campaigning has moved to social media. I am not convinced – to my mind the kind of villages and towns we are crossing would expect to see their political leaders at least once in five years. Furthermore it's a stretch to imagine that that conventional media has died so soon. We muse if there is a sense of fatigue this time around. Looking back I now realise that Debu did not offer any theories – and now I wish I had asked him more insistently.
There is no real attempt to talk politics during the journey. It often just happens upon us as we go through a series of conversations on music, movies, campus, people, concerts, drinking – one thing leads to another and at some point in the day we do end up talking affairs of the state.
All of us have a fair idea of each others political leanings. Nari and I detest right wing politics. Debu is a keen supporter of Modi but i don't think that he is a right winger. Shobha is ambiguous – five years back when I visited her in Singapore she strongly supported Modi. However, I suspect that the intervening years and her work with NGOs has made her less receptive to right wing politics. Where we all are in agreement is that Rahul Gandhi is a duffer. I profess to them that I even more scared of his sister, Priyanka Gandhi Vadhra than I am of Modi. She reminds me of Indira Gandhi – to my mind the worst prime minister we have had. I tell them that I can see her picking up and kissing that half-starved kid or dancing between the sticks and suddenly everyone goes gaga over her. I also declare that the one person I would really like to interview is Sonia Gandhi. I am curious as to why she came into politics. She could have let herself be revered as the great Indian widow rather than be reviled as a foreign bitch trying to rule India.
We begin discussing the elections and wondering who will win. None of us is willing to bet on Modi returning to power. If not Modi we suppose it might well be Gadkari. I point out that in 2004 nobody thought that Sonia Gandhi could defeat a Vajpayee and yet it happened. Or maybe Sharad Pawar could end up finally achieve his lifelong ambition. We seem to be in agreement that maybe Pawar might have used politics to enrich himself more than any one else in Indian politics. We conclude that though corrupt he is efficient – it's amazing how we Indians have come to see this as a virtue. I am obliged to give a little journalistic gossip on how his daughter is allegedly a lush.
The nice thing about these conversations is that there are no raised voices or heated debates. It's more like serious discussion mixed with merriment at the inanity of it all. Inanity brings us to Jayalalitha and I ask Nari if the eyeball and thumb stories are true. Nari rolls his eyes and says, “Fuck, bugger!” (Funny aside: just a week later a cabbie in Bombay tells me the same thumb and eyeball story this time though the politician involved is Bal Thackeray) Over the next few days we glean a fair degree of insight into Tamil Nadu politics from Nari. He is dismissive of Kamala Hassan and thinks that DMK should perform rather well. The AIADMK according to Nari have given up all hope and are just busy making as much money as they can. The DMK brings A Raja into the conversation. I am amazed that here is a man that everyone believes did take bagfuls of money as bribes and yet he was acquitted. “How the fuck could they not trace a single rupee to him?” I rant. Little do I know that in a few days the venerable Sukh Ram – another telecom minister on the take – will be back in the Congress.
Nari tells us of the time when Rajnikanth was stuck n his car since traffic had been stopped to clear the way for Jayalalitha's motorcade. After 15 minutes a miffed Rajni got out and walked to the nearby cigarette shop and lit a cigarette. This resulted in the mother of all jams and the cops begged him to get into his car promising to let his car through. Debu tells us a story of how when Kamraj died strangers asked his father if they could stand on Debu's Mount Road house bacony and watch the procession, since it was a perfect viewing place. Vyjanthimala enters the conversation since she too contested for the Congress for a long while. I ask if she is dead only to be told that she is very much alive and kicking.
Cities such as Gwalior, Satna, Guna all bring to mind politicians. It was in Gwalior that Madhavrao Scindia defeated Vajpayee in the sympathy wave post the Indira Gandhi assassination. Guna is the family bastion of the Scindias, Satna was Arjun Singh's constituency. I think to myself it is strange that I associate places with politics.
Talk moves on to India's best prime minister and we all agree that Narasimha Rao and Vajpayee are probably the best we had and Indira Gandhi the worst. Looking back I am sad that I did not include Nehru. And so now post facto I shall give him my vote. Vajpayee we agree is truly under appreciated. The national highway we drive on is thanks to the ambitious golden quadrilateral he conceived. Disinvestment was done with nary a protest from public sector companies that were privatised. We try and figure out which constituency Narasimha Rao used to stand from in Maharashtra – Ramtek my friend Abhi tells me once I am back. All of us seem to know that he was a polyglot – in fact I think I first heard the word in conjunction with Narasimha Rao.
NTR enters the conversation through some film talk and soon enough we are discussing his political career. It seems he dressed up in a sari for 40 days because some astrologer told him that would ensure he becomes chief minister. I burst out laughing – somehow for all the useless information I have collected over the years this nugget has escaped me. My own contribution is the salacious rumour of how NTR died bonking his wife – again on some astrologer's advice that a child will bring him good luck or whatever. I even remember his wife's name – Lakshmi Parvati.
The names and gossip keep popping in and out of our conversations
Mayawati – she sleeps with youhg boys
KCR – he is a drunk
Jyotiraditya Scindia – he is allegedly sleeping with the same woman his father was sleeping with
Amit Shah – a very scary dude who emanates thuggishness quite like the Yogi
Vilasrao Deshmukh – With his death the Congress lost their big fund raiser
YSR – rumour has it that he was bumped off by a big corporation that has interests in oil and gas
LK Advani – at his age one won't let him cross the road alone and he still wants to run the country
I remark that it is interesting that the Indian public seems to get it's revenge by spreading biting rumours about the rich and the powerful. We discuss Indira Gandhi looking for the Rolex/key – for the Swiss bank account – when Sanjay Gandhi's helicopter crashed.
Looking back our discussions on Indian politics are quite illuminating. The North-East never figures in any such conversation. Even large states like Orissa and Kerala are of no interest to us. The discussion is never about party ideologies but about personalities. And it always seems to come down to the lesser of the two evils.
As we cross Telangana, Nari tells us that his nephew who is in the IPS has told him that cops are all yearning to be posted in Telangana. KCR it seems has told them that so long as they are reasonable with his elected representatives they can go hell for leather against other criminals and such. Substantial funds have been allocated for the same as is evidenced in the fancy police vehicles we see in the state.
The only time it gets mildly excitable is when Shobha says something about how Sushma Swaraj should be credited for something and I react saying that wins in foreign policy are rarely achieved by one person. Debu says to me, “Bull you are such a cynic. You just jumped on Shobha's suggestion to dismiss Sushma Swaraj.” I deny accusations of cynicism and say that while Sushma Swaraj has no doubt been reasonably efficient I don't think such policy victories are attributable to one person. Looking back there is little doubt that I jumped on Shobha and yet that's just me being me. Talk of Sushma Swaraj leads to conversation about Bellary where she stood against Sonia Gandhi. We marvel how two women neither of who can speak Kannada decide to contest an election in Karnataka and gives speeches in Hindi to an audience which can barely understand what they are saying. We are all amused. Debu tells us of how Rahul Gandhi seems to speak five words in a sentence but his translator seems to speak fifty while translating the sentence.
Somewhere along the way we end up discussing Brexit and wondering what the hell is happening in Britain. Debu and Nari have an earnest conversation on the subject and I listen in – I am still as ignorant as ever as to what on earth is happening there. Hate him or love him but one has to say that Trump cannot be ignored. He flits in and out of our conversation – once again Nari and Debu who follow American politics closely lead the conversation. There is a fairly informed discussion on various democratic contenders for 2020 and who might get the nod. I know a few names but that's about it. Nari who tracks American politics more closely than he does Indian politics is in full flow as he speaks with passion about a subject close to his heart.
Our journey is peppered with such conversations some too trivial to record and many which i am sure have slipped my mind. The political circle is completed on the last day of our trip as we head to see the 'World's Largest Living Banyan Tree' when we finally see some election activity. We cross two rival groups – YSR Congress and TDP supporters on the way. The TDP group it seems has finished electioneering and everyone is eating packed lunch on the side of the road. One group is wearing blue and the other yellow. It's a rather droll affair which hardly results any conversation amongst us.
Looking back I find that I am none too disappointed at not witnessing the grand spectacle that a General Election is supposed to be. As the election progresses in real time I am finding that I really do not care who wins or loses. Here's to the likes of Sadhvi Pragya and other such alleged thugs who might end up making the laws that govern us.
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